Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize