don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
