I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
