I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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