Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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