Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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