Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize