You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
