i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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