I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
