he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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