I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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