It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
