you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
