Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again