Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
