Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.

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  (773): Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could. (773): "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible. (773): I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive. http://tfl.nu/kn2s
  Replies (21) Good night (929) Bad night (1628)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

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  (504): Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon. http://tfl.nu/mwyy
  Replies (19) Good night (1339) Bad night (4393)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun

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  (905): Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun http://tfl.nu/uh6g
  Replies (13) Good night (2824) Bad night (1385)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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  (502): update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive. http://tfl.nu/e1l9
  Replies (10) Good night (4912) Bad night (1462)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

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  (937): Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. http://tfl.nu/1bgy
  Replies (29) Good night (1342) Bad night (6680)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment

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  (314): I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment http://tfl.nu/5u6p
  Replies (11) Good night (4958) Bad night (886)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.

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  (219): The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up. http://tfl.nu/gycw
  Replies (4) Good night (1271) Bad night (934)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers

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  (484): I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers http://tfl.nu/srrb
  Replies (4) Good night (942) Bad night (610)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!

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  (978): I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it! http://tfl.nu/x2pk
  Replies (9) Good night (1545) Bad night (548)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.

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  (604): I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner. http://tfl.nu/27g8
  Replies (7) Good night (1350) Bad night (578)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.

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  (301): Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows. http://tfl.nu/8j3i
  Replies (2) Good night (1182) Bad night (487)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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  (301): Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you. http://tfl.nu/00du
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (751)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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  (617): Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them http://tfl.nu/p251
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (389)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.

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  (610): The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly. http://tfl.nu/cjbh
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (343)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.

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  (253): If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls. http://tfl.nu/vsnx
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (324)

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