Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth

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  (916): she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth http://tfl.nu/a27z
  Replies (5) Good night (562) Bad night (1820) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom

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  (617): Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.' (617): we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom http://tfl.nu/ju2m
  Replies (24) Good night (788) Bad night (2527)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital

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  (617): i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital http://tfl.nu/4e4x
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense

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  (703): I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense http://tfl.nu/aaqg
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  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?

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  (845): Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn? http://tfl.nu/bm5d
  Replies (11) Good night (6640) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes

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  (859): i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes http://tfl.nu/xf12
  Replies (19) Good night (861) Bad night (3476) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.

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  (916): Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius. http://tfl.nu/nzur
  Replies (26) Good night (6542) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step

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  (617): I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step http://tfl.nu/7m4i
  Replies (7) Good night (4437) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her

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  (917): she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her http://tfl.nu/pixb
  Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (3758) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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  (951): His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format http://tfl.nu/g7e8
  Replies (12) Good night (5550) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (108): View more from

  Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly

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  (108): Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly http://tfl.nu/wtl4
  Replies (6) Good night (2394) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.

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  (562): When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid. http://tfl.nu/iodi
  Replies (5) Good night (1210) Bad night (595)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon

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  (757): There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon http://tfl.nu/7pni
  Replies (3) Good night (1292) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Somehow he made it really romantic

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.

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  (541): Somehow he made it really romantic (503): He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me. http://tfl.nu/2g7n
  Replies (6) Good night (1188) Bad night (621)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire

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  (267): I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire http://tfl.nu/ih5l
  Replies (4) Good night (272) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt

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