Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.