A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY