Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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