i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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