Just fell off a train. Bad.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
