The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
