Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
