it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
