I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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