Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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