There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Terrible idea I love it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
