I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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