I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
