I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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