Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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