and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
