Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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