I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
