If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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