i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
