Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
