you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
