It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
