If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize