I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
