Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i think i just lost a toe
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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