if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
