Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
