tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
