The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
