"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
