just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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