I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
do nipples grow back?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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