he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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