hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
