last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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