I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
