There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
