i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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