Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
