lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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