I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
