sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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