the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You smell like stripper and shame
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
